The Only Way Through..

Everything is just.. fine FINE fiiiiine.

Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is hailin’ a TAXI ca’ab.

Today I tore flesh.

Today I made myself bleed.

I told you about it in the last post, and now – I want to tell you more

Today I gave consent to ink and pierce my skin in a way that leaves beauty,

a way that leaves pain,

a way that leaves me..

Me.

I must admit-

I wanted the pain on purpose, I wanted the to feel my flesh tear.

My second mind was telling me different…

it hurt..

it FELT painful.  …..

My first mind stood its ground – a ground lightly tread upon…

“You only feel as if this is painful..” it said.

“You only feel as though this pain might last forever..” it said.

“This covers up parts of you that you don’t like,” it said.

I waited until the pain felt numb and then I felt the pain again, every tear of flesh made me wince and wither in pain, and I grasped my inner thigh like it was a life line.  My right arm fell limp into the tattoo artist’s body, but sometimes he held my hand – not on purpose, but I still felt as though it were my support.  I was alone at the tattoo shop, I was worried about the tattoo artists being rude, but once it was just me and the artist, I looked at the pain, looked away, and look again.  Pain was irrelevant, pain was inevitable, and the only way through it, was through it.

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